Lacking Motivation to go to PAAVO

TO: Dr. Nutcrackher

Quote
"Lets see -- I've been to PAAVO maybe 8 times and the running and strip clubs are not a motivator anymore."

Dr. Nutcrackher,
A very good friend of mine needs help; what would you suggest I do to get him back on trail? He seems to be suffering from lack of give a shit!
Sincerely, Egg Beater

DEAR EGGBEATER,

Thanks for asking. I wish I knew who said that, as it would be much easier to diagnose the problem if I knew the mental disorders with which we were dealing. There’s something about the question, tone, and number of trips to PAAVO that make me think the disordered source of that quote must be NUTFARMER. I imagine my answer might be same regardless of whether or not NF said that, so here goes.

WTF!!!!???? (screamed in my loudest fokking voice). WHO in their right mind goes to Paavo to RUN or go to STRIP CLUBS? After going once, those with superior mental abilities would realize to NOT FOKKIN RUN. Who the hell wants to run with a hangover … caused by seeing not-so-attractive strippers? And then spend 5, 6.2, 13.1, or 26.2 miles SHARTing up Hurley’s finest restaurant food? OK, OK, it took me a few years to figure it out, but I am just saying that someone with less than half a mind should be able to figure it out after one year. MORE FOKKIN IMPORTANTLY, who the fokk would go to Hurley to see strippers? Oh, that’s right, Madison hardly has any strip joints. But still!!! Save some fokking coin and travel to any other city. From what I have read, Atlanta and Houston have some of the finest looking strippers. Back to Madison’s lack of strip joints, I’ve heard it has to be with the “liberal” majority attempting to stop the “exploitation of women.” Apparently, the fokks who believe that strippers are exploited have never been to a “gentlemen’s club.” I’ve known strippers who bought mansions and BMW’s due to their EXPLOITATION OF MEN. Not to be too fokking harsh, but I always thought it was the women who couldn’t get a job stripping even in Hurley who complained loudest about the exploitation of women. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex-positive_feminism for a different view. The entire article is interesting, but this quote is pure gold, “Individualist feminists … support the legalization of marijuana, which has been widely reported to prolong female orgasm while delaying male ejaculation.”

And wassup with prostitution? It is often referred to as “selling your body.” First, it seems more like renting than selling. Second, aren’t many folks selling or renting their minds at work? I mean my fokking job sometimes gets under my mind skin and drives me fokking crazy even when I am not at work. Why aren’t more mental jobs considered bad? Why is renting your body worse than renting your mind? What about professional football players who rent their bodies and wind up broken and addicted to pain killers? I bet my left NUT that prostitutes (at least good, honest ones) create more happiness than most other professions. FOKK, I forgot to pay my lawyer!

Of course, bad shit happens to some sex workers. And bad shit happens to other folks as well. Paavo’s fun because you get to spend time with friends in a beautiful, inexpensive place on earth.